To Whom Shall We Go…

Please remember to continue to pray and think through a possible church name to assist us in our church plant. 

Now onto my writing…  In talking with a few friends recently, I was the recipient of “embellished” stories and in one particular case it was not embellished stories, but isolationism that left me feeling angry and helpless.

Here is one scenario.  Why is it when we talk to people about ‘our church’ we have the tendency to make it about numbers, a charismatic leader, or programs rather than Jesus Christ or lives being impacted? 

When I asked a friend of mine recently about their ‘church’ they told me that they were having “30-40 new visitors every week” and small groups ended for the summer?  Kinda seems stupid don’t it?  Not once in that conversation did I hear about conversions, discipleship, or evangelism, or engaging the community.  He did mention that there was still no visitor follow up process.  Connie was talking to a friend and was told that the “membership is growing” but yet we still see no community impact.  Is tithing growing too?  How about the benevolence fund?  How many orphans and widows are you taking care of? 

In another scenario, a friend of mine recently had a family member go into the hospital.  I tried to find out which hospital and when I could come and minister and the response I got was…” not having any visitors. We’re keeping it to ourselves out of respect for her privacy and have only told close family when we **have to**. Otherwise no one else knows and hopefully that will make it easier for her to cope when she comes back home” and I was blown away…

Week after week this person talks about struggling, requesting prayer for struggling, and yet when you try to reach out to them, they shut you down.  Do they really want community?  I mean, that is what you told me when we get together and the emails you send me…  Then why won’t you let me do life with you?  Why do I have to beg and cajole to find out what is going on?

This quote from a Discipleship Journel article hit it right on the head I think….  a reminder…

Transforming Relationships

Not everyone is led to live in an intentional community as I do. Yet if Christ is truly alive, if His body is to have real form here on earth, then the relational dimension of our lives will need transforming. Taking Christ seriously is costly; it exacts an effort to intertwine our lives with others. For this to happen we must risk and make the kinds of choices that free us to share our lives in concrete ways. We must help each other deconstruct our individualistic lives. Such an endeavor cannot be reduced to a formula or a set of principles that spell out specific plans of action. To become church with others demands that we take stock of our lives to uncover the many ways we try to go it alone.

You may want to ask yourself, as I continue to ask myself, the following kinds of questions.

• How much of my mental energy is expended on my own life and personal well-being?

• Whose kingdom am I building? Would anyone conclude I was building my own kingdom rather than God’s? Why?

• Does how I use my free time draw me closer to others?

• Who has easy access to my home, my thoughts, my prayers?

• What connections am I forging that help to create a common life with others? Does such a life stand out from those around me?

These are challenging questions and not easy to answer. One way to focus a bit is to take a relational inventory.

• List believers with whom you feel a bond. Now chose one or two people or couples on your list whom you think God might want you to grow closer to. How do you currently spend your time with them?

• Do these people hold you accountable for the way you spend your time or your money? Do they have permission to challenge you in your character or make demands of your time?

• What kinds of changes would you like to see in order to make these relationships stronger?

• Consider what keeps these changes from happening. Perhaps your schedule is already maxed out. What will have to give before more time can be freed up? Leisure activities? Work time?

• You might consider with your spouse and children how your family can better intersect with others. For example, instead of doing lone-ranger family activities, you could enjoy a combined family night once a week, paint each other’s houses, or go on a missions trip together.

As you draw closer to others, it will be important to specify mutual expectations. Because relationships take work and because conflict is inevitable, remember that it is Christ’s body—not your own fulfillment or happiness—that is at stake. This means sacrifice, and it means going beyond the usual social expectations and proprieties. Take finances, for example. We keep our wallets and bank accounts to ourselves; money matters are private. But in the body of Christ, our goods are not our own. Consider laying everything out on the table (checkbook, statements, bills, investments) with another person or couple and discussing ways you can become more radical in your giving and simpler in your living. Share where you find it difficult to cut back or where you overspend. Accept honest feedback on how you are spending resources. Discuss ways you and your friends could consolidate some resources. In this way, the “common life” gets real.

Laying everything on the table includes other “private possessions” such as our sins or burdens, both of which we are commanded to share with one another (Gal. 6:2, Jas. 5:16). Being church together is unlike a gathering or meeting. The wounds of Christ can be touched and felt in a special way because those who join together reveal the scars and hurts that weigh them down. Of course, this includes far more than unloading one’s problems on others. The purpose of baring one’s soul is not just personal edification but building up the body of Christ. Mutual accountability with the aim of undergoing change is essential. The important thing to remember is that to be knitted together in Christ demands the interweaving of hearts and souls.

Whatever changes you make, sharing life with others will never happen if you are hanging on to your own life or if your schedule only allows for a couple of church meetings a week. New lifestyle habits will have to form. Sacrifices of convenience, private spaces, and personal preferences will have to be made. Sharing lives will involve making concerted choices so that others can more naturally and easily be in—and not just around—your life. Only in this way will the world begin to know the difference Christ’s love can make in the nitty-gritty of life.

By being the church with others, one proclaims that discipleship is a common journey—an ongoing, identifiable togetherness that attempts to realize the power of Jesus in the concrete here and now. God has so much more in store for us than what we are experiencing. He wants to give us the spirit of joy and love to such an extent that, in the words of Eberhard Arnold, we have “the urge to reach out to others in such a way so as to be united with them for always” (Why We Live in Community).

As we do so, worship that goes beyond the sounds that echo within the four walls of a sanctuary will resound in the daily life of those of us who sing His praises. Such worship will reflect the reality of God’s church in heaven—the everlasting community of love that is permanently in session.

Publisher Paul Westervelt, Discipleship Journal, Issue 144 (November/December 2004) (NavPress, 2004; 2006).